Ramadhan : The internals

A year has passed, as I have experienced the most painful moment of my life last Ramadhan, that I still suffer till today. The memories are sometime unbearable as the pain remain, and as always there’s a thought that I wish it never happens. But, as one person has always said this thing to me ‘everything happens for a reason’ , I am yet to find it why ?

There are no certainties in life, as we can always plan, but always, it is only planned but the execution never happens sometime.

We always portray ourselves to have a wonderful life ahead, but things just get nastier sometimes. And I ask myself why? The same basic reason for every man kind, that I am being TESTED.

I was very weak, I have made a lot of bad decisions in my past, but those are the one that thought me a lot to be a better MAN. But I must not stop here, as I should be learning and continues to learn.

I hope this Ramadhan would give me, one thing that I need most, which is to be very strict in making decisions and making the right one. I must always stand to what I believe that will benefit me without putting others into issues.

I really missed my life, I really missed my life as those days, to give myself a chuppa chups, to go to popular and just wandering the novel section, to just go out and just follow, but it stops here, as life should always move on.

I should be happy as I am, I am still annoying and I love that. But, what life has to offer me has always been anticipation to my self.

Should I be afraid, should I be afraid.. I am and I am still, I wish that this feeling would just go away so that I would be stronger, I don’t know if I am strong enough to face the reality, but when the time comes, I am sure to find it on my own.

That’s it for now, as I haven’t perform my isya’ prayers. May this Ramadhan be the turning point of my life.. Ameen..

Written from the Heart
Shamir Adnan


azie yusof said…
you can always talk to me, its better to let it out than making yr life miserable. 2 heads are better than one.

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