Ramadhan : The internals

A year has passed, as I have experienced the most painful moment of my life last Ramadhan, that I still suffer till today. The memories are sometime unbearable as the pain remain, and as always there’s a thought that I wish it never happens. But, as one person has always said this thing to me ‘everything happens for a reason’ , I am yet to find it why ?

There are no certainties in life, as we can always plan, but always, it is only planned but the execution never happens sometime.

We always portray ourselves to have a wonderful life ahead, but things just get nastier sometimes. And I ask myself why? The same basic reason for every man kind, that I am being TESTED.

I was very weak, I have made a lot of bad decisions in my past, but those are the one that thought me a lot to be a better MAN. But I must not stop here, as I should be learning and continues to learn.

I hope this Ramadhan would give me, one thing that I need most, which is to be very strict in making decisions and making the right one. I must always stand to what I believe that will benefit me without putting others into issues.

I really missed my life, I really missed my life as those days, to give myself a chuppa chups, to go to popular and just wandering the novel section, to just go out and just follow, but it stops here, as life should always move on.

I should be happy as I am, I am still annoying and I love that. But, what life has to offer me has always been anticipation to my self.

Should I be afraid, should I be afraid.. I am and I am still, I wish that this feeling would just go away so that I would be stronger, I don’t know if I am strong enough to face the reality, but when the time comes, I am sure to find it on my own.

That’s it for now, as I haven’t perform my isya’ prayers. May this Ramadhan be the turning point of my life.. Ameen..

Written from the Heart

Shamir Adnan